Naruto: AU adventures
by The Riceman
Summary: This story isn't about Naruto, or Shippuden. As far as this story is concerned, neither happened. In this story, we see a vision of what Naruto's life as a normal teen could have been like. Some language, and romance is purely a subplot. Several pairings.
1. Foreword

**Foreword**

**Addressing the differences between Naruto as a manga, and Naruto: AU, as a story.**

Let's just take a second to forget everything we know about Naruto thus far, and as a warning, the things I'm about to tell you to forget DO contain spoilers, for those who are proudly sticking to the Viz edition of Naruto. Let's forget Naruto getting the Kyuubi sealed inside him, considering it never happened in AU. Forget about Uchiha Itachi slaughtering his whole clan. In AU, he only gets Mangenkyou Sharingan later, after Kakashi obtains it, and teaches it to him. He and Sasuke, who never left Konoha, are quite close. Orochimaru still left, and will remain a missing-nin. He isn't important in this story. The third never died, and Tsunade never became Hokage. She instead married Jiraiya, despite him being a super-pervert, and is expecting her third kid, half a year from now. Kakashi still taught squad 7, and they are all chuunin. Naruto and Sasuke were both promoted on their second tries. Sakura was promoted on her third. Naruto learned rasengan from the fourth, and they're studying together on how to perfect it, using the wind element. Sasuke is still perfecting Nagashi Chidori, and maintains a fierce rivalry/friendship with Naruto. Sakura is now a full-fledged medical ninja, minus the insane strength. Akatsuki never existed, either. Gaara is still kazekage, but without shukaku. Naruto is one of his closest friends. Shikamaru is having some girl troubles, trying to choose between Temari, and Ino. Temari doesn't seem to care either way, but Ino does seem to care quite a bit. He still smokes. Inari, in the country of the waves, still lives with Kaiza, Tsunami, and Tazuna, with his pet dog.

This is the Naruto that could have been, and might have been, created to discover how Naruto would have been different if the protagonist had a family, and didn't grow up alone. The concept isn't an original one, but I hope this story turns out to be unique.


	2. 1:Why Naruto will never teach again

**NARUTO:**

**JUST ANOTHER A/U **

Uzumaki Naruto stretched, as he walked out of the classroom. He couldn't believe he had agreed to substitute teach for that lazy bastard, Shikamaru, while he took the day off to visit Temari in Sunagakure. Chouji, in his infinite stupidity, had given himself food poisoning, by refusing to let even one barbecue chip spoil, ergo eating it _off the ground_, and not being able to fill in for Shikamaru. Ino couldn't sub, because she was going after Shikamaru to Sunagakure, just because she was jealous of Temari, a condition which she refused to admit to having. Naruto held his head. He would never teach again. He had promised himself that much, after today. Kakashi had agreed, after Naruto extracted a favor from him due to a lunch break spent trying, to sub for Naruto for the rest of the week. He sighed. Maybe being a jounin wouldn't be so great. He passed Neji in a hall, and stopped him. "Hey! Neji! I just realized you have to teach a squad of genin in a couple of years, right?" he asked.

"Yeah, so?" replied a confused Hyuuga genius.

Naruto looked calm for a second, and then burst out laughing, on his way to freedom, leaving a confused jounin in his wake. It would be Neji's problem. It would be Shikamaru's problem, but he'd be damned if it was his problem. Uzumaki Naruto was NEVER, and he meant NEVER going to teach at the academy again.

"Naruto! Hey, () Bozu, wake up! You have to go to school" shouted Naruto's father, the former fourth hokage, Arashi, who was now a full-time father, and ANBU elite, from downstairs.

"No, dad! I'm a chuunin now! I don't go to school!" the 15-year-old boy mumbled into his pillow "I have today all planned out. By the way, is it noon yet?"

His father walked up the stairs, and asked his son to repeat the question. "I asked; is it noon yet?" replied Naruto.

"No, it's 7:00" responded Arashi, after pausing to check his watch.

"You'd so better mean PM, dad." was his answer

There was another pause. "Nope, I mean AM. Haul your lazy ass up, and get downstairs for breakfast!" snapped his dad, trying to suppress a laugh. That child of his. He shook his head, and threw open the door.

There was his son, in flannel pajamas, just reaching for the knob, looking exhausted. "Why am I up?" he asked, stifling a yawn.

"You're up, because you have to go teach today" answered his father.

"No, father. Kakashi agreed to take over. He's teaching. Give him the wake up call" replied Naruto, scratching his head.

"Not anymore, he isn't. He's lost on the road of life, according to him, and he won't make it in time. You've got to take today" replied Arashi, shaking his head.

Naruto took a second to process this. His teacher bailed on him. His plans for today were shot out the window. He was to be facing 25 screaming children, all even more notorious pranksters than he himself. He had to teach. That was when it hit him. "YOU'VE GOT TO BE SHITTING ME!" he yelled "KAKASHI BAILED ON ME?!"

The ex-Yondaime sighed. "Looks that way. Sorry kiddo, but you DID promise Shikamaru…." He answered.

Naruto glared at him, and went back into his room to get into his jumpsuit. "I hate you" he said, glaring at Yondaime as he passed.

"You don't mean that…" teased Yondaime, ever the annoying morning person.

"Not most mornings…" agreed Naruto, before heading out the door.

He began down the main road, to the Academy, which had recently been named for Sarutobi, their 3rd Hokage. He sighed as he stood outside the door. He watched Sakura, and his arch-rival/best friend Sasuke, enjoy freedom, apparently off to watch the new 'Princess Fuun' movie. Now he was sure someone up there hated him. He sighed in dismay. Around this time, Hinata somehow came up in front of him without his noticing. "N—Naruto" she stuttered "hello".

Naruto looked up, and saw Hinata. "Oh" he said, looking depressed "hi Hinata"

"Um…is this a bad time?" she asked, unsurely "because you look sad, and I don't want to annoy...Um…you"

Naruto looked at her quizzically, before realizing he had found a way to vent. "You know Shikamaru?" he asked, seeming outwardly calm.

"Y-yes" she answered, unsure where he was going with this.

"Well, I promised to substitute teach his class of hellions. So, I spent a period getting ripped limb from limb, around my old classroom, and on my lunch break, begged Kakashi, and I mean BEGGED, as in on my knees, half-crying, to get him to take over. He complied, reluctantly, out of pity. So I go home, unburdened, and guess who was 'lost on the road of life' when I woke up this morning?" ranted Naruto, waving his hands in the air, unaware of the pitch he was speaking at. Hinata blushed. She wasn't the most confrontational person. "Um…Naruto? I have a suggestion" she replied, or stammered.

Naruto cut off his rant at 'so now, I have to—' and nodded to acknowledge that he wanted to hear it, urging her on. She gulped, toyed with her fingers and asked "Naruto, why don't I do it?" quietly

Naruto shook his head. "I couldn't do that. You shouldn't have to, and it isn't your fault any of this happened..." he replied.

Hinata smiled shyly. "I actually…I actually really want to at least help. Can I?" she asked.

Naruto couldn't help but think Hinata looked cute like that. Hormones could do that to a guy. Well, Hinata WAS kind of cute in the first place. He snapped out of it. He had known Hinata, like most of his friends, since they were kids. He shouldn't think of them (her) like that, and he knew it (but mostly because Neji would murder him if he ever tried hitting on her). Hinata looked at him, expectantly. He sighed. "Sure, Hinata" he replied, smiling.

Her face lit up, and went red simultaneously, as she fainted dead away. "Hinata?" he asked, confused "Hinata?"

He knelt down next to her, and tapped her lightly on the head wit the palm of his hand three times. She cringed in her 'sleep', but didn't wake up. He tapped a bit harder. She moaned softly, as if she were in pain. "Hinata?" he asked, tapping once more.

Hinata bolted up, head butting Naruto by accident. He fell flat on his back. Hinata looked shocked. "I'm sorry!" she apologized "I'm so sorry, Naruto!"

Naruto rubbed his forehead, and winced at the pain. "It's okay" he muttered, smiling as he massaged the goose-egg on his forehead. Hinata had quite a hard head.

He stood up, and looked at the doors of the school. He helped Hinata up, and said, gloomily, "c'mon, Hinata. The class from hell is waiting…"

----------

Notes:

-Sorry this chapter was short. I had no idea how much three pages was, when I wrote it, and assumed it was more than this. I'll put more into chapter two.

-I will not be using honorifics in this story, although I will be using japanese jutsu names, and the japanese surname-before-first name system.

-Bozu is a japanese word for 'brat' or 'squirt', as far a I know. Used by Arashi, as Naruto's pet name.


	3. Bad parenting, and teenage angst

**NARUTO A/U ADVENTURES**

Pre-pre-chapter note:Had a few different moments of random directional inspiration, before the chapter was over. It started out decent, then it got kind of... juvenile, and took an angsty turn at the end, there. At least Arashi got some humor in there, on a positive note. 

Pre-chapter note: I'm a lazy SOB.

If you haven't guessed, and I think most people who have added me as a favorite author, or this as a favorite story have, I'm lazy. And forgetful. And, for the past while, plagued by writer's block. For the above reasons, I haven't been updating like I hoped I would. Sorry about that. I'll try being more constant, from this point on. Also, I'm skipping the part where Naruto and Hinata teach the hellions. Saving it for a filler, should I not be able to come up with a decent idea. This chapter begins on the evening of the same day. Also, as a side-note, although Naruto's father's name has been revealed in the manga, officially, I'll continue to use Arashi as his name, because I don't feel like editing the previous chapter, although I might in future.

If one counted conception, Naruto had been in existence sixteen years. In those sixteen years, he had met his arch-rival, and fought him twice. He had fought S-ranked criminals, in places that one had to travel for days to arrive at. He had been trained to the point of near-death, several times, and the fights he had gotten into had brought him even closer. That was just his time as a genin. In those sixteen years, he had still never faced a challenge quite as insurmountable as teaching. He didn't quite know whether to respect, or hate Shikamaru for going off for a few days. Arashi walked into the living room, where Naruto lay on the couch, the daily newspaper draped over his face. Arashi sat in his armchair, which he had promised Naruto could sit in the day hell froze over. That day had yet to arrive. "Teaching troubles?" Arashi asked, hiding a chuckle.

Naruto pulled the newspaper off his face, and looked at his father, bleakly. "I friggin' hate Shikamaru", the teen grumbled "I'm gonna kick his ass when I next see him, just so you know. If the cops drag me off, will you post bail?"

"Nope. You know the rules. If you kill someone, or get a girl pregnant, you're on your own." Arashi chuckled, and said "either situation, you'll accept what comes next, in the way you know I would handle it."

"So, I would potentially be on the next train to Yukigakure, then?" Naruto asked, innocently.

"Smartass" Arashi replied, picking up his book.

Naruto looked over at what his father was reading, and groaned. "Oh god, not that ecchi crap… It's bad enough that my godfather writes porn, but my father reading it right in front of his son is just bad parenting…" he complained.

Arashi raised his eyebrow, and looked at Naruto. "What kind of healthy teenage boy doesn't like porn? If my father had left porn lying around when I was your age.." he trailed off, wistfully.

"If grandpa had left porno lying around, you'd be just like ero-sennin" Naruto interjected.

The father and son would have gotten into an argument, had the doorbell not rung at that moment. Arashi looked balefully at the door, as whoever was on the other side buzzed repeatedly. Naruto sighed, and got up to answer it. It was Sasuke, Kiba, Chouji, Neji, Itachi, and Lee. "Hey, Naruto" Kiba said, grinning "you feel like hanging out?"

"Shit is what I feel like" Naruto replied "but I don't feel like being in the house when dad's reading his porn books, so what the hell…"

Kiba sighed. "I wish my dad left porn lying around the house. Naruto, you're lucky."

Naruto rolled his eyes, and shut the door behind him. "Okay" Sasuke said, eyeing the street, to make sure it was empty. "Here's the plan. It's 6:30 now. We've got a free half-hour before the new 'Capo' movie is on. After that, we'll see what we feel like doing."

"Nothing illegal this time." Neji said, out of the blue "Hinata's coming with us tonight, and before we pick her up, I feel obligated to tell each and every one of you this: You are all my friends. I'm alive today mostly because all of you have saved me on more than one occasion, and I've returned the favor. However, camaraderie aside, I will not hesitate for a second to rip anybody who I catch hitting on my cousin into tiny pieces. Are we all perfectly clear?"

Everybody nodded, and Naruto said "I also feel obligated to say something: Neji, that is the sappiest thing I've ever heard. Ever. Unnecessary, and sappy. We all agreed that we save corny camaraderie speeches for when we're damn sure we're about to die, and nobody can make fun of you for it later. In light of that, who votes that everyone takes ten free shots on Neji's right arm, for being a wimp?"

Six hands went up. Only Neji didn't vote. He got his shots, and took them with a forced smile, as per the unspoken code. After that, they made their way to the Hyuuga compound. Neji rubbed his arm, gingerly, thinking nobody noticed. Naruto caught it. "Two more rounds for rubbing the wound!" he laughed. Motion made, motion passed.

Afterwards, they made their way to a vacant field, for a short game of football, before the movie. No chakra use allowed. Naruto and Sasuke were captains. "I get Lee" Naruto said, quickly.

"I got Itachi" (Sasuke)

"I got Kiba" (Naruto)

"Chouji, for the line." (Sasuke)

"I want Hinata." Naruto said, knowing it would be embarrassing to be picked last for anyone.

"Don't we all know it!" Kiba joked

Both Naruto and Neji gave him a shot on the arm, for that line. About three plays in, Naruto pulled Sasuke down by the back of the shirt, and got the dropped ball. Sasuke, hungry for revenge, and ever the dirty player, clothes lined Naruto in the throat. Naruto flipped over. He was up fast, and he punched Sasuke in the mouth. The game quickly became a fight. Itachi, Lee, Neji and Kiba separated the duelists. "Now I remember why we don't play games with Naruto and Sasuke... Way too competitive" Itachi pointed out.

Afterwards, they went into the theatre. Naruto and Sasuke still weren't on speaking terms, although everyone knew the animosity would be gone in about an hour. Halfway through the movie, Naruto called down the row "Pass the popcorn."

Sasuke had the popcorn, and told him to get his own. Naruto didn't want to. Thus, the spark began to spread. After, Sasuke needed his popcorn back, and Naruto wasn't quite done. They didn't take it outside, to the annoyance of the usher. So, one or the other had to be kicked out. Naruto opted to leave. He sat on the step, outside, and Hinata followed him out. "If it's Sasuke behind me, fuck off." Naruto commented.

He turned, and saw Hinata. "Sorry" he commented, looking grumpy.

"A-are you okay?" she asked, looking somewhat concerned.

"I'm kind of pissed, but other than that, I'm okay. It's not even Sasuke, really. Well, he's a prick, but that isn't it. It's the stress, really. I mean, I've been doing a lot lately. Trying to perfect rasengan, helping Kakashi patrol on day shifts, taking my jounin qualification courses, AND filling in for Shikamaru on top of that. It would get to anybody, right?" he sighed.

"This…um…This whole thing was Sasuke's idea, y-you know" Hinata quietly told him.

"What was?" Naruto asked, turning to look at the shy kunoichi.

"Tonight. He knew what you were going through, so he and Itachi set it up."

"…"

"N-Naruto…?"

"….I feel like an asshole."

He got up, thanked Hinata, and walked back into the theatre. He pulled Sasuke out of the dark room, and into the lobby. "Hey, jackass." He said "thanks!"

With that, he punched Sasuke in the arm, and walked out the door. "Hey, Hinata!" he called.

"Y---yes, Naruto?"

"Do you want to go home now?"

"um…"

"Yes, or no? I feel like going home. I'll walk you home if you want."

"O--okay"

It was about eight, when they began the short walk. Neither talked. There was nothing to say. Naruto was tired, pissed, thankful, and guilty, all at once. It hurt the head. He didn't feel like talking. He knew he'd say something he didn't mean, if he did speak. He'd start yelling at Hinata, who had done nothing to deserve it, and get Neji mad at him, too, if he opened his mouth. Hinata was just being Hinata. They got to the compound, and Naruto nodded to her. "Night" he said, gruffly, before turning around. Hinata's heart skipped a beat. She grabbed his shoulder, turned him around, and kissed his cheek. Her own cheeks burned, and she ran into the compound, before his senses could react. He stood, stunned. "Good night…" said, awkwardly, as if she could still hear him. He walked back home, silent, and still burdened by what happened to be going through his head, but now he had a new issue. He didn't know whether or not he was attracted to Hinata, or Sakura.

He got through the door, to his home, at nine. His father was still reading his porn. Naruto passed the living room. "Fun night?" his father asked.

"…"

"Ah. I get it, teen angst. See you in the morning, kiddo." Arashi called.

"…"

Naruto walked upstairs, into his room, and flopped onto his bed. He didn't bother undressing. He was exhausted. He hoped a bit of sleep would straighten everything out. Life isn't that simple.


	4. Heads, or Tails?

Naruto: A/U Adventures.

Heads, or tails?

_Naruto woke up, blurry eyed, and without any form of bushy tail to speak of. For once, he was an hour ahead of when he needed to be awake, for his teaching job. It had only been a week's reprieve, before it was back to hell, again. He turned to his left, to his young wife. Her face was obscured by the still-dark room. Even her figure could barely be seen. He felt as if he had woken from a nightmare. He had been 15 again, suffering from the usual teenage issues. Good thing that had settled. He would never want to relive his teenage years. His wife stirred, and awoke. It was odd, but she had no face, or real physical presence. She was there, but she wasn't. It was a bit frightening, actually. She spoke, but no words came out. She had no mouth, so how did he know she was speaking? She had a bulge in her stomach. She was even months pregnant, and he knew it. He just didn't know who. Who the hell was his wife?_

Naruto woke again, sweating lightly. It really was 6:00 AM. No wife, no impending baby. He was 15. The image of Hinata kissing him was fresh in his mind. All at once, it all rushed back. The fight, the angst, the kiss, the class, and the porn. He flopped back onto his bed. "God…" he sighed, rubbing his eye.

He rolled out of bed, and got ready to teach the class. He had to look ready. They pounced on weakness, after all. At which point, the doorbell rang. Naruto shook off exhaustion. Who could be insane enough to be calling on him this early? He went downstairs to check. It was Shikamaru, as it turned out. He was back from his trip to see Temari. He could take his job back. "Good," Naruto commented "now go away, I've got to sleep."

"Oh? Sure, I'll have some coffee. Thanks for asking. It was a hell of a journey." Shikamaru said, grinning, and shoving his way in.

"Asshole…" Naruto grumbled. Although, he DID need some advice. Even if it WAS from a guy with his own heap of girl trouble. Although, if one looked at it, they were two sides of the same coin.

"Yo, Nara!" he said, as Shikamaru prepared his coffee.

"What?" Shikamaru asked, sitting down.

"How'd your trip go?" asked Naruto, somewhat interested "did they both realize they were too good for you, and dump your sorry ass?"

"Yeah. That's how it goes, right?" Shikamaru asked, sarcastically.

"No idea. Never been dumped by two girls at once." Naruto pointed out, noting the sarcasm "so really, how'd it go?"

"Alright. They're both kind of pissed at me at the moment. How's your life?" the Nara asked, bored.

"Other than some asshole breaking into my house, and drinking my coffee? Well, I have some problems, too. Except mine are life and death. Literally." Naruto explained.

Shikamaru got up to get a cup, but looked interested, nonetheless. "Life and death, how?" Nara asked, hearing the coffee maker beep, signifying that his brew was done.

"Well, you know I like Sakura, right?" Naruto asked, as if the free world didn't already know.

"Yeah, I'd guessed. So, how's that life and death?" Shikamaru asked.

"Well, the problem is…" Naruto trailed off

Shikamaru took a sip of his coffee, nodding, telling Naruto to continue.

"I think I might like Hinata, too." Naruto deadpanned.

Shikamaru calmly took a sip, processing his information. It processed, and he gagged on the coffee as it went down. "God damn, that is life and death! Does Neji know?" he asked.

"I think Kiba suspects it, but Neji doesn't know." Naruto told him.

Shikamaru calmed down, and shook his head. "Man, alive… How troublesome… My advice is that you ignore those feelings for Hinata. If it isn't love, it isn't worth dying for, after all."

"You think Neji would take it that badly?" Naruto asked.

"Neji once put a guy in the hospital for looking at Hinata's ass. What do you think he'd do?" Shikamaru pointed out.

Naruto paled, in realization. "Oh…. Well, it isn't like Hinata likes me or anything, so there's no pressure, right?" he said, trying to calm himself.

Shikamaru could only nod. He didn't trust himself to speak, for fear of exposing something he knew he shouldn't. Pandora had made a mistake like that with a box once, and nothing but illness had come of it.

Naruto sighed, and concluded with: "So, you think I should focus on Sakura, then?"

"I think women are troublesome in general. Just avoid them all. That's my advice, and I live by it." Shikamaru answered.

"You've got two girlfriends. You don't really live by it religiously, do you?" Naruto pointed out.

"Not my fault. Animal magnetism. Can't be helped." Shikamaru justified.

Naruto couldn't help but laugh, at the absurdity of the situation. They were in his kitchen, at 6:00 AM, discussing the pitfalls of potential polygamy. Shikamaru laughed, too, also realizing how dumb it was. He finished his cup, and left. Naruto went back upstairs, and fell back to sleep. He felt better, as if his problems were on their way to being solved. He quickly went back to sleep, only faintly feeling like he had forgotten something. It wasn't until 7:00 that he remembered.

"BOZU! GET UP! TIME FOR SCHOOL!"

Naruto groaned. Now, he had to explain to his dad, about Shikamaru being back. He rolled out of bed, forcing himself to face another day.


	5. The Plot thickens, and a few extra words

NARUTO: A/U Adventures

The plot thickens 

Sasuke sat, alone in his room, staring moodily out at the rising sun. He had always been prone to bouts of teen angst, which Itachi always poked fun at him for. It annoyed him to no end. His most recent fight with Naruto had went about two steps too far, but he knew, somewhere that if it wasn't for the deeper resentment he had for his best friend, this wouldn't be so major, and he'd be calmed down by mid-afternoon, and ready to get into a make-up fight with Naruto. It was more complex than that, and he knew it. Lately, he, like Naruto, had a lot on his mind. Like all best friends, most of their issues were similar. Jounin prep classes, a fight, oncoming missions… and girl trouble. For years, he had listened to Naruto talk about Sakura, describing how attractive she was, as if Sasuke couldn't see it. He could, rather clearly. Sure, the pink hair turned him off a bit, but he liked her nonetheless. Besides Naruto, and Itachi, she was his best friend. He knew she liked him, and he knew he might like her, too. The problem was Naruto. Whether or not he had feelings for Sakura, he could never act on them so long as Naruto liked her. That would be betraying his best friend, and Sasuke just couldn't betray someone like that. It wasn't his nature. He sighed, and got up. He wondered how Shikamaru dealt with two girls, when he had trouble just getting with one.

Shikamaru really couldn't deal with two girlfriends anymore. Especially Ino, and Temari. Naruto didn't realize his own luck. He had one overbearing woman, and saying she was even interested in him was a stretch. Shikamaru had two. Both obviously interested. All he had ever wanted was a small family, a steady income, and free time to stare at clouds. Amazing how things turned out. He sighed as he walked through his door. His mother shouted down "SHIKAMARU, IF THAT'S YOU? WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN? YOUR FATHER AND I HAVE BEEN WORRIED SICK ABOUT YOU!"

He sighed, mumbling about how troublesome bossy women were. His father came downstairs, followed by his mother. She had her hands on her hips, and asked "Well, I'm waiting! What made you leave for so long?"

Shikamaru gestured to the chairs, and replied "It's a long story. Should I put on some coffee, or—"

"No. Tell us this 'long story', first."

Shikamaru sighed, and decided to start from the beginning. "Well, it all started in October…"

"Oh yes, when you began dating that nice young lady from Sunagakure?"

"Around there, yeah. It was around that time that I happened to have a birthday. On said birthday, was the first time I kissed Temari, in a very dark room, and told her I had feelings for her, but I couldn't quite commit, because there was someone else I felt like I had feelings for. However, it wasn't Temari I was speaking to, as it turned out. It was Ino. She said she understood, and she'd wait until I could commit. Now, I was surprised, but I did what any sane man would do. I bolted. I found Temari, and, much more briefly, told her the same thing. Fortunately, on my birthday, they never found out about this little two-time show, so that bought me some time to.."

"WHAT?" his mother exclaimed, looking furious "You two timed her? I didn't raise you like that! I thought you knew better!"

"You did. I know it was wrong. Moving on… They didn't find out for about a month, and during that time, as it turned out, both girls began calling me their boyfriend. Everyone was happy. Then, Temari came to visit. She and Ino came face to face. There was no fight. Not physically, anyway. Although, I did feel guilty, I can say that. I led both of them on, ad for a while; I was in the doghouse…"

"As well you should be! Leading them on like that…"

"Dear…" his father interjected "let him finish the story. What happened next?"

"Thanks, dad. In any case, for the next couple months, no girl in Konoha would even look me in the eye. Temari and I lost contact. Eventually, I realized what the right thing to do was. I had to make things right, and stay with Temari. She was my girlfriend in the first place, so…"

"Well, was she the one you WANTED to date?" his mother asked, a bit more calmly.

"I dunno, mom. I just don't know. It seemed like it at the time. Now I can't tell what or who I want, anymore. I mean, whoever I choose, someone gets hurt. I can't have both, since that wouldn't be right. What should I do?"

"… I'm going back to bed. This is a man's issue. Dear, talk to your son. He gets his personality from your genes."

With that, his mother went back upstairs, to crawl into bed. His father heard the door close, and then began talking. "Son, this problem isn't as bad as you think. Look at it this way: most men only dream of having two women like them. You're living the dream, kid. If only I had been as popular with the ladies when I was your age…"

Shikamaru looked at his father, oddly. "Yeah. I'd thought of that. Still, isn't it wrong to lead them on like that?"

"No, no. Not at all. In fact, why don't you have some fun? How much do they like you?"

"I dunno"

"Why not bring up the notion of a threesome? I'm sure they'd be into it."

"…"

"I mean, come on. Two girlfriends can be a good thing. Twice as much sex, right? Plus, should it happen, twice as many kids. I mean sure, if neither relationship works out, it's twice as much child support, but, hey, contraceptives were invented for a reason, right? Besides, Yukigakure is only a few hours by train.."

"Dad, that's sick. What the hell is wrong with you? Don't be trying to sew your wild oats through me, okay! You're friggin' sick, you know that? What kind of father encourages his son to mess with people he cares about? God… I dunno what I'm gonna do, but that isn't it!" Shikamaru yelled, before getting up, saying something about having a problem to resolve, and leaving.

"Works every time…" his father said, chuckling, remembering how outraged he had been when his father had used the tactic on him.

Shikamaru walked off toward the Yamanaka house, unsure of what he wanted to do, but sure that his father's advice would play no part in it. About halfway there, it hit him. The advice hadn't been serious. He wasn't sure whether to be pissed, or thankful. "Asshole…" he grumbled, aware of the slight grin on his face.

Naruto came up the road, looking slightly troubled. Shikamaru spotted him, and asked what was up.

"You seen Sasuke?" Naruto asked, looking up.

"No, sorry. Seen Ino?"

"No, sorry."

"Thanks anyway."

Shikamaru walked away, feeling relieved that his problem may just come to an end today. Naruto walked, in the opposite direction, and couldn't help but feel that his problems had just begun. At the compound, Hinata lay asleep, dreaming of Naruto, and apprehensive to the consequences of acting on random impulse, and a feeling she had possessed since she was six. In the Yamanaka house, Ino lay awake, with Temari in a sleeping bag next to her, both wondering who Shikamaru would choose. Sasuke walked through the streets of the Uchiha district, which had yet to begin it's bustling day, wondering what the future held for himself, Naruto, Sakura, and the rest of his friends. Meanwhile, Kakashi sat in the Hokage's office, listening to a briefing, which would lead to a mission. Him, and a small team would head out south to quell a rebel element. An organization that had recently sprung from the shadows, calling itself Akatsuki. The future was uncertain, and the next few months would test the resolve of everyone, in nearly every facet of their personalities. They would be tested as ninja, as people, and as friends, family members, and lovers. That would be then, but that was a dot on the horizon. Now, the ninja of Konoha had more pressing, teenage issues to deal with.

Post-chapter note: Things are getting more dramatic than I had planned, and it looks like things might be getting closer to the manga than I had once hoped, but I'll try to make the next few chapters lighter and more humorous. As I should have noted in the Foreword, the timelines are different than in the manga. Although the Akatsuki still exists, they haven't really done anything yet. The tailed beasts may or may not make a future appearance, and someone may or may not begin their "descent to darkness". Although they probably won't. I don't want things to tie into the manga too much, since that restricts my creative freedom. I mean, the cast in N:A/U already seem to be spending a good deal of time exhibiting OOC traits, although I've tried to not make those traits too outrageously different from Kishimoto's characters. Remember, the universe is different, I'm allowed to mess with the characters a little. In a way, though, that ability makes fanfiction writing even more open-ended than writing your own original piece, because when you create your own character, or at least when I do, I feel like I'm limiting myself, due to the self-imposed limit I've created on what ways my character would potentially be able to react to any given situation.Although I may give an original fictional work a shot eventually, when I mature as a writer, and I feel like I can write for my characters without being hindered by my self-imposed barriers. In any case, this note has turned out to be longer than I had hoped. Thanks for reading, and I'll try to update faster.


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